I've been watching a lot of Dr. Phil lately on youtube. It's new for me. I'm not riding much in the winters now. And I'm always looking for self-help information. I'm particularly looking for the way in which he reacts to his quest's outbursts. I'm also looking at the way he tells his quests how they should be behaving and how he communicates this information. And how he doesn't put up with narcissistic behaviour from them. I'd like to do another article on that later. I've had a life full of it.
I was watching a few videos on child raising and crazy mothers, fathers, and overly bossy grandmothers who have ridiculous ideas about parenting. What caught my attention was Dr. Phil's idea on separation anxiety on the part of the child - or is it really the mother's fear and over control? Humm.
As I watched these videos, I found myself thinking about the horses I've been in contact with or rather - the specific owners, mostly female who treat their horses a lot like little children. I have found a few owners who think they have to completely coddle their horses much like some women do to their small children.
I've watched a lot of horses and their interactions with their owners. I've also watched a lot of horses and their troubled personalities to see where the owner has perhaps guarded or guided the horse in a direction that wasn't in the horse's best interest. Like Dr. Phil, who's concern is first and foremost is with the child.
I believe they are a mirror to ourselves. I, personally pay attention to what my horses are telling me when I interact with them.
The same goes for my dogs. In horse speak, we call that reading our horses. This is where horses can be so beneficial to owners - to tell us where we need to change things in our lives for the better. That's why I specifically learned team penning - to learn how to read a cow.
Take for example, a horse with separation anxiety issues. Owners often pay horse trainers to solve the 'buddy sour' horse problem because they can't do it anymore. The horse has not been taught to leave the safety of the barn or buddy and that it will be ok. That the temporary separation will not kill them. It will be ok. It's part of maturing. The owner feels too uncomfortable to leave the horse for short periods of time on it's own because they can't deal with the horse being anxious and upset. The horse often feeds off of the owner's fear and anxiety. I've even had owners tell me that they have never left a horse alone - ever. Like it's a universal law.
I'm sure you know of many sources on the internet which talk about this common issue. This is just my take on it.
Dr. Phil's Advice on Teaching a Child to Leave it's Mother (safety) and be able to deal with it. The advice is at the 40.25min mark for 2 minutes. (Dr. phil: Beautiful people in an ugly divorce).
As Dr. Phil says, it's OK and necessary for the small child to learn to leave it's primary care giver =safety (the mother in this case) and spend some period of time away (in this case in the care of it's father). That it's an important part of the development of the child.
The same goes for your horse. Our horses can really show us: US.
Putting my spin on the Buddy Sour Horse and Dr. Phil